"I've ran away my whole life, but now my running has become a talent that no one can surpass me in.

If you haven't read the  entry before ast here's the summary of it. (The reason for that title is because sometimes I always end up finding a girls weakness. And I think I just found a really really bad super duper black dark secret. It's to where my heart has not been feeling the same since all this stuff, feel like it's crying and just breaking all over. Of course I have enough full proof to prove it. It's all the matter of time of setting the trap. I didn't want to do this, but I have to find out the truth the hard way. She's not going to see it coming at all. She doesn't have a way out, I can't see how she can prove me wrong, and if she can good for her but I've done a lot of studying on how things are going to go. Also next entry real reasons why I didn't start  a Myspace and Facebook for a reason.)

 

So here's part 2. I end up following up on what was going on. So this is what happened. I called her up, she was just getting to bed, she's hard to get a hold of the past couple weeks. I hardly doubt it was because of what I found out. She didn't see it coming. So I end up talking saying I have this problem with a really good friend. I known her as long I know her I tell her. She's listening. What I start to tell her is that, it's about a person I never met, care for her long long time. Her pictures weren't adding up, I was just checking on her to see how she was doing and that it had been two years for pictures so I just wanted an updated so I visited her Myspace and Facebook. Which turns out to be bad news. She's not the same person. I do a lot more research there's a video of her and her family. Watch it for a second, here the voice. See the girl she been sending pictures of, but the voice isn't matching up with that girl. So it's a person she knows but it's not her. The thing is. I really don't care about what she looked like.

 

Sure I love good looking women, but who doesn't  want a good looking person to begin with? But that doesn't mean I'm just like any other guy all the time and have to have you hot beyond belief. What kills me the most was when I told her I the whole entire talk was about her. She didn't even say a word. She just HANGS UP.  I hear it, I knew it was true, but I had to confirm it.... I just tilt my head back and smiling. I love to smile it what's I always done. But the feeling of my heart was crushed so badly. I didn't cry because we were drifting apart already so it wasn't as bad. What just made it hurt so much though was she lied to me from the very beginning. Why didn't I catch it? Her age was wrong as well she wasn't who she was. There were parts of her that was mostly true. But like any other girl that I know she didn't like the way she looked. And I saw a real picture of her, she was just fine, so what if she wasn't as hot as the pictures she was sending me. I didn't care. It was her personality that made her even better.

 

Gosh but to be lied to.. To be lied to for 7 YEARS. 7 YEARS!?!?! That's more than half a decade that it took me to figure out. I wouldn't say I knew her incredbily well, but I could catch her in a lie pretty good. But this had to be the most darkest deepest sercet lie she had. I always find something about girls that really scare them off, I can sometimes really see who they are, no matter how long it takes. The other thing that drives me crazy. She lied all for nothing. I wasn't dating her at all! She's dating someone else. I was talking to her to other epople saying how she listenall the time and was there most of the time. So she was my best friend. Yeah I was really pissed about it, but you know. I didn't care anymore. It's not about being stepped on. I just want to help her stop lying to herself so she doesn't have to lie to others. Yeah I'm hurt and I want to know the truth, but she's gotta help me fix her if she really doesn't want to be like this anymore.

 

Why do girls do that? I'm not justifying that guys have the right to lie when they screw up or something. But it was a POINTLESS lie to where you practically can't even talk to your best friend about. I guess I wasn't that good of a friend. I hate failing with a passion, even the hint of it scares the living daylights out of me. It sucks because I really don't have anybody to talk to now about anything. She would actually listen to all my randomness and actually even ask questions or even do  her very best to understand. Just what happen!?!?

 

This just goes to show you that you just need to believe in yourself and don't care what people say about you sooooo much. You girls will end up like that. And no one wants to truly be that. So save yourself and anybody close to you the trouble to having to go through that. Sit yourself down and know that you're important and that there's still people out there  who love you for your personality. No matter how much I don't like myself, I still have tons of people not only look up to me. But tell me I've done great things without even knowing, and that's a good feeling. I may compain or scare girls off whatever. At least I act like myself but there's still people who like me somewhat for who I am and that's what I gotta live for. It was so crazy when I got on facebook, TONS of friends request of people I haven't seen in 4 years. So that goes to show you at least you can be remembered, and most of those people who put me on remember me as the guy who  was just nice to everyone even when people made fun of them. I still ticking still smiling still putting my game face on when I need to survive. So let's just keep going on by.